NSFW

Breaking News,  White House Admits Error: "Someone of higher rank, conversant in French and Arabic, should have attended on behalf of the US. Unfortunately the only officials meeting those requirements are all connected with the US torture-interrogation program."

Priceless, isn't it?  Everyone with a racket, big and small, is out there in Paris--  Netanyahu? You must be kidding.  I wish I were.

Everyone's there flogging Charlie buttons, Charlie posters, Charlie pencils, Charlie banners, Charlie eyeglasses.  Revlon's got Charlize Theron (hey, her name even sounds French) there, passing out coupons for Charlie perfume in shatterproof bottles.  

Everyone's there flick-ing their Bics named Charlie. "Flick pour les flics."

Britain sends Prince Charles, with a button that says, Je suis vraiment Charlie.

Raytheon is represented by a predator drone named Charlie.

Sisi of Egypt is Charlie.

Fucking David Duke is a Charlie.

Restaurants are serving brunch cocktails called Bloody Charlies.

The French now have their own 9/11-- only it's  11/9,  onze-neuf.

Everyone's Charlie because they aren't.

Except....except for the chief executive of the US.  He forgot to show up.  Or send anyone...like the Secretary of State. Who speaks French.  Or a former president, like Clinton, whom the French just adore.  Je suis Charlie, mais je aime Bubba.  Or his own wife, even, Michelle who could replace him at all, and in all, functions and be an improvement.

And you thought Bush was stupid?  A bumbler?  How about this clown?  This guy doesn't recognize a business opportunity when it lands in his lap.  Like try this one:  "Say Angela, you still think our eavesdropping program is unjustified?  Bet you wish you had one.  We can do something about that."

Or maybe this one: "Hey Francoise, we got a bunch of these secret prisons, 3/4 empty, just sitting around costing us money.  We could let you have some space there.  Put anybody you want there, no questions asked... of you, that is.  You get to ask them anything you want, anyway you want to ask them.  Comes with room, water, and boards.   Nobody will ever know.  Guaranteed.  Feinstein won't tell.  Let me hook you up with our guy in the General Services Administration."

Look, they, white America, the bourgeoisie, hate this guy, because after all he's not white.  But they're disappointed because he's just not a hustler. Jackie Robinson?  He was a hustler.  Sammy Davis, Jr?  He was a hustler. But Barack doesn't get it. He can't close.  He can't make the sale.  He doesn't hustle.

January 12, 2015