Monday, January 30, 2017
Gang(s) of Seven(s), More or Less
Gang 1: Seven countries from which travel, immigration, refugees are banned by executive order
Iraq, Iran, Syria, Somalia, Sudan, Libya, Yemen
Gang 2: Number of nationals from those seven countries convicted of terrorist related crimes in the US, 2001-2014 as reported to senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions by the US Department of Justice
Libya (1), Iran (3), Sudan (3), Syria (7), Iraq (17), Yemen (19), Somalia (21)
Gang 3: Other countries with the number of convicted nationals equal to or slightly greater than the number from the countries in 1 Gang, according to the same DOJ report:
Libya (1): Australia, Peru, Trinidad and Tobago, Guatemala, Qatar, Kazakhstan, Yugoslavia, Greece, Mexico, Uzbekistan, Chile, Brazil, Vietnam, Israel, Malaysia, Denmark, Germany, South Korea, France, Nigeria, Uzbekistan, Eritrea, Kosovo, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Tanzania, Singapore, Haiti, Senegal, Ethiopia, Philippines, Bosnia, Nigeria, South Africa, Cambodia, Ivory Coast, Djibouti, Panama, Senegal, Algeria
Iran, Sudan (3): Canada, Guyana, Turkey, Albania, El Salvador, Mali, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Tunisia, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia, Kuwait, United Kingdom
Syria (7): India, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan
Iraq (17): Jordan, Egypt
Yemen (19): Colombia, Palestine (includes West Bank and Gaza)
Somalia (21): Pakistan (55), Lebanon (25)
Gang 4: Terrorists involved in drafting Trump's executive order
Rudy "Death Squads" Giuliani, Michael "Waterboarding isn't torture...unless it's done to me" Mukasey, Peter T. "Gerry Adams is a swell guy. The whole IRA is a bunch of swell guys" King, Steve "It's so exciting-- like the 1930s; like Kristalnacht" Bannon. Donald J. "Does not stand for 'Jew' " Trump.
In other news, Christian Krönes announced the death of Brunhilde Pomsel, personal stenographer to Joseph Goebbels, the Third Reich's Minister of Propaganda, Ms. Pomsel was 106 at the time of her death. With the passing of Ms. Pomsel, only Kellyanne Conway remains from the group gathered in Hitler's Berlin bunker in order to organize Germany's final victory over the Red Army, having lured the Red Army 1800 kilometers into an ambush.
Ms. Conway has retained her wartime rank of Wechselwirkungen-Oberst-Gruppenführer and receives a pension from ExxonMobil for her diligence protecting royalties due Standard Oil of New Jersey (a predecessor company) for Germany's use of the oil company's patents during the war.
A remarkably spry and youthful 96 years old, Kellyanne continues her career as special counsel to Donald J. Trump. "I'm sorry to hear of Brunhilde's passing," said Ms. Conway. "She was like a mother to me." Reminiscing out loud she said "and Joseph.. well Herr Goebbels was a very special person. Sometimes I think he's in the room with me. And sometimes, I even think he's speaking through me."
January 30, 2017